Why do we harm our selves by choosing destructive habits? Is it because things like alcohol and drugs have some mysterious power to control us? No. We choose our actions based on our experiences, our habits, and the way we think. If we want to change our destructive behavior we must change; we must learn to choose different solutions to our problems.

“Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.” ~William G. Wilson, The Big Book, page 64.

We can simply choose to avoid the substances and experiences that are destructive. I have heard the term “white knuckling it” to describe this solution: it is uncomfortable, difficult, and usually leads back to our destructive behavior as a way to relieve the pain. We must understand that we choose those behaviors because on some level, they work. When we simply stop the behavior without finding a more beneficial alternative, we suffer. Avoidance does not eliminate the underlying thoughts, beliefs, and lack of knowing of alternatives behaviors that drew us to the destructive behavior in the first place.

In this video Sogyal Rinpoche discusses how the mind works to perceive the world around us. As he explains, we must look inward to get to the root of suffering rather than focusing on the external symptoms. We can change to address the causes of our condition, and we can address the real problem we were trying to fix with our destructive behavior.

“All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.” ~Blaise Pascal

To explain some of the terms used in this video for the non-Buddhists: “Samsara” refers to a general state of overt or subtle sufferings that occur in day to day life. “Nirvana” is the state of being free from that suffering.

Thank you to Darren Littlejohn, The 12-Step Buddhist, for acquainting me with Sogyal Rinpoche’s videos.